The first sensation when I realize that I mixed up the first day of school date is “PUKE!” And then that feeling settles into that panicked feeling of, “do I run and pretend that I’m sick?” or “do I walk in late with absolutely nothing prepared looking like I’ve come from a week camping in the Outback?” The usual dream is some variation of showing up to school to do some routine “get the classroom back in order action”–in my case usually unshowered and especially unkempt–and I realize as I walk up to my classroom that there is a classroom of eager (and confused) freshmen waiting for their teacher to show up to class. For me, it’s usually early August, but I have gotten a random one at the end of June (separation anxiety maybe?). The time in which the first nightmare will shoot you straight up in bed varies. The “back-to-school”nightmares is a real thing.

So, for those of you always wanting to know what it’s like to be a teacher at the end of summer break, you now have to wonder no more. I get a lot of comments from non-teachers about how blissful it must be to have the summers off–and believe me it is blissful–but the week before school starts is filled with bizarre feelings and behaviors. That is to say, that in teacher world, we consider June to feel like a Friday, July like a Saturday, and August very much like a Sunday where you can’t quite relax and enjoy yourself because that “ case of the Mondays” feeling is scratching at your front door. My first day of school is just a week away, so I’m experiencing my last fleeting hours of the Sunday that is August.

Banging my sexy teacher during recess